


I Am Not Your Sister

by Rulerofyouall



Series: Lucifer (TV) One Shots [9]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Bottom Surgery, Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Glansplasty, HRT, Hormones, I hope I'm spelling this right, Keyhole surgery, Phalloplasty, Scrotoplasty, Self-Harm, Trans Lucifer, Transphobia, Triggers, Unsupportive Brothers, top surgery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofyouall/pseuds/Rulerofyouall
Summary: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael show up to harass Lucifer.





	1. I Am Not Your Sister

**Author's Note:**

  * For [legendarytobes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendarytobes/gifts).



> I own nothing!
> 
> This is just me venting. A lot. Dysphoria can suck my dick though.

They had not been accepting of him. They hated him for it. How could his Father have made such a big mistake when he was originally created? They had always been taught that he as God was perfect in every way and made no errors ever. But then, why did he exist the way he did?

Was his Father just setting him up to be the scapegoat? Did he want someone to blame for all of his other failures? His other siblings had not understood how he could stray so far from the form gifted to him.

But he had to. It didn't feel right. There was such intense feelings of discomfort associated to almost every part or his body: his hair, his chest, his genitals, his shoulders, everything. Why had Father made his brain sex different than his body? Was he trying to make his life a living Hell?

His hands were too small. His shoulders were too small. Everything was out of proportion. His Father made him grow his hair out long like his sisters. Everyone called him "she." How could they not sense the agony he felt when they said "she" or "her" or "sister?"

He was truly trapped in a body that was not his own. The flesh prison would travel with him wherever he went always.

When he had initially voiced his concerns to his family, they had laughed at him. They assumed he was doing another stunt to get attention from them, but he pressed the issue for eons. He couldn't stand it anymore. Their words were like knives penetrating his body.

The final straw was when he actually took action to correct the mistakes his Father had made. He had taken a weapon from the arsenal of the Silver City and set to work on cutting off arguably one of the most triggering places of his body: his chest. He didn't understand why they had looked at him with such intense fury when he was discovered. Did they not see that he was improving upon God's creation? That he was doing this for his own health?

No, they did not. They saw him destroying what their Father had made, vandalizing his property. Without even asking him what he was doing, he was whisked away to their Father, who questioned him, interrogated him. He took this chance to explain himself, but God would not accept the error he had made when creating him.

Knowing that he would never stop, his Father knew that he had to somehow get rid of his embarrassment. He at first considered simply destroying him, but his Mother had intervened and begged him to merely send him elsewhere. Out of sight, out of mind.

And thus, he was sentenced to be the ruler of Hell. Dragged to the border of the Silver City, he was chained; his wings, broken. Michael was the one to throw him off of the edge, and he tumbled down for what felt like an eternity, his skin literally burning and melting off of his bones.

He landed in Hell as expected. His form was permanently scarred and crippled. He could count every single rib shining white against his bloody, red skin; moving was agony. The demons were not incredibly pleasant either, but to his surprise, they soon accepted him as their lord, not their lady. Not without some violence of course, what else could be expected from those in Hell?

His right hand woman was a demon called Mazikeen. She tried to help him correct God's errors, to fix what had been done, but he couldn't bear to let anyone see his female body. He would do it himself, but as part of his punishment, it seemed to grow back over time. He feared the worst. From this time, he notably dropped the female name of Samael for Lucifer.

Years later, he got his hands on every surgery he could. Humans had truly advanced far to not only accept people like him but also help them get the body they were supposed to have. It wasn't cheap, but luckily, Lucifer had a lot of money in the bank.

The first surgery he got was Keyhole, a form of top surgery. This flattened his chest to how it was supposed to be, and for some reason, it never grew back like it used to. Soon after, he started HRT and got testosterone injections. He grew hair in the right places, and his voice finally sounded right. He was more comfortable. The next step was bottom surgery. The testosterone had given him bottom growth, and as he wished to take an active role in sex, he selected phalloplasty. He decided that it looked most convincing when it was mixed with glansplasty, and this gave it the look of a circumsized penis. It did require a skin graft from his arm, but he decided that it was 100% worth it. He also got scrotoplasty to give him the appearance of balls, and a pump was fitted to allow him to grow hard. He had decided that that was the better choice, knowing that the other option would make it look like he half had a boner the entire time. His urethra was lengthened additionally to allow him to stand to use the facilities. Finally, he got his dick tattooed to look more convincing with veins and all.

He had gone stealth almost immediately after. Not one person but Maze knew that he was born in the wrong body, that he was born with gender dysphoria. No one at the LAPD knew, not even Chloe, and she had seen him naked before. In fact, none of his bed partners were any the wiser.

That all changed one day. He should have known that it was too quiet, too boring. Something was definitely about to happen. Dan and Ella were crowded around Chloe's desk, and he was twirling around on the chair.

"Sam? What have you done to yourself?" A very familiar voice was full of anger.

Two of his siblings had grown used to it, accepted him after a while. Azrael and Amenadiel were raised by his Father, but Lucifer knew that he could count on them if need be. Needless to say, his other siblings were not so kind to him.

Lucifer lazily glanced up at the three approaching figures but ignored them, instead choosing to spin around a few more times on his swivel chair.

"Sam, I know you heard us." His other brother, Gabriel, had the same amount of fury in his voice. "What have you done to God's gift?"

Chloe realized that the furious men were talking to her partner and intervened, standing up. "How may I help you? What are your names? I'm Detective Chloe Decker."

Raphael looked at her in disdain. "I'm Raphael. That's Gabriel and Michael. This is a family matter. We just need to talk to our sister."

Sister. The word stabbed him as hard as any blade would.

"What sister?" Ella looked confused.

He gave a sickly smile. "See, Samael? All of the damages you have been doing to the body our Father crafted especially for you have made you unrecognizable?"

Lucifer spinned again, hoping that they would leave if he refused to respond.

Michael cleared his throat loudly. "What is it you go by nowadays, sister? Lucifer? That's such a silly name."

Dan bit his lip, realizing exactly what was going on. "Yeah, I'm going to have to ask you three to leave. We do not tolerate transphobia here."

"This is a family matter." Gabriel growled. "Can you not see that we are doing God's work? Samael destroyed her body, and because of all the arguments she had started in the Silver City, she was sentenced to rule Hell."

Chloe closed her eyes. So that was what had happened to her partner. His father had kicked him out because he was transgender. The entire family was definitely religious, so it was no wonder that he sunk into devilish metaphors.

"Listen here." Ella was furious. "Lucifer is one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, so I cannot stand here and watch you harass him."

Lucifer groaned. "Leave it, Miss Lopez. I think I'm just going to go back to my penthouse."

"Are you sure?" Chloe looked worried. He never did well on his own when his mental health was suffering.

"I'll....call Linda." Lucifer glared at his brothers. "I am not your sister."

Dan walked over to the three men. "Leave. Now. You've already done enough damage, so go back to your God."

 


	2. Disdain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do not leave
> 
> *thanks to Random_Fangirl for the inspiration!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!  
> Sorry if this seems heavy. I vent a lot in my writing about my transphobic parents.

"You are not leaving, sister. Father wants us to talk." Raphael grabbed Lucifer by the arm.

The Devil stared at it for a moment before pulling it away from his brother in disgust. "No."

"Why must you always be so difficult, Sam?" Gabriel rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

Chloe watched the situation apprehensively. She desperately wished to intervene, but it could be dangerous due to their close proximity to each other. If only Lucifer would move away a bit, she could interfere safely. 

They were also calling him Sam. Was he originally named Samantha? That didn't really fit with the rest of them; they all had religious names. She supposed that it was none of her business. Lucifer didn't have to reveal his dead name if he didn't want to since it was truly dead to him.

Lucifer crossed his arms and stared at the other three archangels. "Fine, then. What the bloody hell does he want from me?"

"You have been away from your post in Hell for too long, sister. You must return." Michael explained without a single emotion crossing his face. "Amenadiel was tasked with this first, but he has always held a soft spot for you for some reason."

The night club owner let out a short laugh. "I'm not going back there."

"You must. Our Father wills it." Raphael scrunched his nose up in disdain. "We all know that you destroy our Father's creations frequently. It is the least you can do to listen every now and then; besides, there are many ways we can...convince you to return."

Dan had turned bright red from anger throughout the exchange, but he needed to know all the details before he could intervene. Now, it sounded an awful lot like they were threatening to torture him to get him to return to 'Hell.'

"Leave." The male detective stalked up to the three intruders. "We do not tolerate such hate speech here. The LAPD is a safe place."

Gabriel laughed out loud. "Our sister is such a softie that she needs a safe place set aside just so she doesn't have to deal with the truth? Can't you see she is brainwashing today's youth? There had never been a transgender before Sam, and now, the transgenders are everywhere!"

"Don't call them 'transgenders.'" Ella shook her head. "I can't have you insulting Lucifer here. He's a good man, a better man than any of you will ever be."

"Our sister will never be a man." Michael sneered. "In our youth, she would try to get attention by claiming that our Father is imperfect, but we all know that he never makes a mistake. Sam is and always shall be a girl."

Lucifer's cheeks burned bright red as he felt the dysphoria settle in once more. He had been doing well with feeling masculine as of late, but it seemed that his siblings could knock him back to square one with a few measly words. Was he truly that weak? He was suddenly incredibly self-conscious about all of his scars, all of the evidence of his transition. Since he had keyhole surgery, the scars on his chest weren't too bad, but they stung at him right then. He was not born the way he was then. No, he was born wrong and imperfect.

"He is not a girl." Chloe snapped at the three of them. "Now, I want you three to leave. Get out of here. Scram. Now."

"And how exactly do you think you will get us to?" Gabriel leered at the detective. "You are a mere mortal. A miracle perhaps, but powerless."

She ignored the miracle statement, not too sure what it meant. Obviously, these three men thought that they were angels just like how Lucifer thought he was the Devil. Were they raised in a cult? That would certainly explain a lot of things about her partner.

Lucifer looked between his friends and his brothers, yearning to separate them. His siblings were all dangerous; he couldn't afford to lose any of his friends if one of them got violent.

He cleared his throat. "Shouldn't we be having this conversation away from the humans?"

Raphael spared him a short glance before returning to glaring daggers into Chloe's skull. "You have brainwashed so many people. You're manipulative and cruel, and we must fix this."

"There is nothing to fix but your attitude." Ella marched up close to him and stuck her face near his. "You're so hateful, you know that? It is not Christian to judge people and hate on others the way you are now."

Michael let out a short laugh. "This human thinks she can tell us what is and is not Christian! Mortal, we have been in contact with God in as little as an hour ago. We know more about what is Christian than you ever will."

Lucifer bit his lip, still not entirely sure how to get rid of his siblings. If he simply left, would they follow? Or would they kidnap his friends to force him back to Hell? He couldn't be sure with them.

"Leave them out of this." He demanded, yanking on Raphael's arm in an attempt to get him away from Ella. "It's me you want."

Gabriel moved towards the night club owner. "You know, everyone in the Silver City is quite curious about what is going on inside your brain. It couldn't hurt to look at it, right? Using our methods of course, not the silly human machines."

Lucifer gave him a weird look. "I'm bloody well not letting you anywhere near my brain. You don't care about what you would find; you only care about the pain it would cause."

"True," the archangel admitted, smiling a little bit.

Dan had had enough. "I can't allow you to threaten Lucifer like that. Leave, or you'll spend the night in a holding cell."

Raphael laced his fingers together, ready to give an attitude. "And here I thought had free speech."

"This isn't free speech. It's harassment. Now, go." Chloe tacked on.

Michael whispered something into the other two's ears. "We'll see you soon, dearest sister." And just like that, they disappeared before their very eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	3. Vanishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of them had vanished before their very eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

Ella, Dan, and Chloe all blinked hard at the place the three archangels had once been. Luckily, their argument had not garnered much attention from the rest of the precinct, but they had certainly seen evidence of the supernatural. Lucifer's brothers, all of them horrifically bigoted, had vanished before their eyes. They were there one moment, and the next, they were gone.

Chloe had gone pale. "Lucifer?" She voiced after a moment of hesitation.

The Devil too stared at the place where his brothers once stood, refusing to meet the humans' eyes. "Yes, detective?"

"What was that?" Dan asked in her steed.

Ella couldn't believe it. There was no way what she just saw was a hoax. It was not preplanned; it seemed natural for them. While her faith felt validated, she couldn't help but feel betrayed by the archangels. She had been taught for so long not to discriminate, not to judge, but God and his warriors seemed to do so themselves. What sort of place would Heaven be if they acted like that? How was she supposed to continue her worship of them if they treated one of her best friends like they just did? She had always believed that the Devil got a bad rep from the Bible, but she had always thought that he had done at least something to deserve to be sent away. But now, she knew that that was not the case. His old-fashioned family had just betrayed him rather than accept that something was actually happening to him. They could not accept that God had made a mistake.

"Why don't we go to somewhere more private?" Lucifer tried to keep his temper down, not wanting to frighten the humans, but deep down, he was furious with his brothers for revealing his identity. They weren't ready; he wasn't ready.

The three humans agreed to this and slowly made their way into the forensics lab. Lucifer closed the door and the blinds and sat down on a nearby chair.

"What was that?" The male detective repeated with the same stunned look on his face.

"My brothers left. They flew away. Vamoosed." The Devil kept it short.

Chloe bit her lip, staring at Lucifer hard. "It's all real, isn't it? They're angels, and you're the Devil."

"Yes, detective." He confirmed her beliefs. "I have never lied to you. I will never lie to you."

The detective fingered the sleeve of her shirt. "And everything the Bible says about you?"

"Heavily exaggerated with a sprinkling of lies." Lucifer spun around in his chair. "I have no interest in being a stereotypical Devil."

"And you were kicked out of Heaven for being transgender?" Ella furrowed her brow. Heaven was supposed to be an accepting place.

The Devil nodded his head. "That is correct, Miss Lopez. My Father didn't appreciate me insinuating that he was anything less than perfect. He didn't like it when I tried to do anything to change my appearance; he considered it vandalism of his creation."

"But you are not his property." Dan seemed to be calming down, but he was obviously still in shock. However, he also appeared to be angry, and it was all Lucifer could do to wish that he was not angry at him.

"Not anymore. Not one of my siblings were created with free will, and neither was I. We do not get a choice in what we say or do, and by changing my appearance, I was rebelling against the way my Father created my destiny."

Ella reached over and enveloped him in a great big hug. "I'm sorry."

"For what, love? You were not apart of this. This all happened eons before you were ever thought of." He cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"That doesn't mean I can't empathize with you." She commented. "It doesn't mean that you deserved that."

Lucifer paused. "That had all passed. I wouldn't want to be around them anyway; they are complete arseholes."

Chloe spoke up for the first time in a while. She had been thinking a lot about all she knew about religion, but as an atheist, she was not well-versed in the Bible. "Has it all passed though? If it had, your brothers wouldn't have shone up today."

"They just want me to go back to Hell." The Devil brushed it off. "I'm not going to obviously, but they will try to convince me for a long while."

"And Amenadiel tried to send you back too?"

He nodded. "Yes, detective. It didn't work out for him, I'm afraid, but I'm still here. He didn't succeed at that mission."

Dan's brain had been connected dots as more information came to him. "They said something about 'convincing' you to return to Hell. It sounded a lot like they were threatening to torture you."

All Lucifer could do to that was shrug.

"They were?"

"The Silver City and Hell do not operate by Earth's rules." Lucifer explained. "If an angel in the Silver City was being disobedient, they would be sent to be reeducated on what it means to be a warrior of our Father. After a while, the angel would become obedient once more."

Chloe bit her lip, barely noticing the metallic taste of blood on her tongue. "They would be tortured until the agreed to do whatever God said?"

"Yes, detective."

"And they did this to you too?" The detective knew enough about religion to realize that he was the most rebellious of them all.

Lucifer froze, not wanting to admit this to the humans he considered to be friends. Would they think less of him?

"How can we get them?" Ella looked murderous. No one got away with abusing one of her friends. And Lucifer, Devil or not, would always be a friend to her.

"I don't think we can. We're only humans." Chloe's face was still incredibly pale. "They are immortal and have powers that we barely even know about."

The Devil agreed. "Over the course of my life, I have found that there is basically nothing anyone could do to go against my Father. Trust me, it is a bad idea to even try."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	4. A Brother Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

Lucifer loved California. While he knew that it was by no means perfect, he felt much safer living there than he would in the country's Bible belt, not to say that anyone there was inherently bad either. But he had heard things over the years, things that gave him doubts about whether or not he would be safe there. He knew he passed well as male nowadays, but would someone named Lucifer Morningstar do well in one of the most religious areas of the United States?

Ella, Chloe, and Dan seemed to be adjusting well now that they knew the truth. It hadn't been a linear improvement, and the Devil still expected them to have even more questions the next time their paths crossed. They weren't offensive questions, but Lucifer nevertheless found them difficult to answer. It seemed that he could rant about his family for hours and hours, but when specifically asked to, he could only draw blanks. They hadn't always hated him; after all, they didn't know that he was going to turn out as a man. He had a sneaking suspicion that Uriel knew the whole time, but he wasn't going to go into that then.

His Father wanted him back in Hell. He supposed he should have expected that. His return was long overdue, but he didn't want to leave his friends. By the time he would manage to escape the Pit's chains and hellfire, they would have moved on from him at best. In the worst case scenario, they would all be dead by the time he fought his way back up, and he would never be able to follow them to the Silver City. Even worse, if he were to leave the earthly realm, it was entirely possible that his surgeries could reverse themselves. They always seemed to do that in Hell and the Silver City, but the results stuck around on this plane of existence.

When he entered the precinct the next morning, he was disappointed but not surprised by what he saw. His siblings had returned: Raphael, Gabriel, and Michael. They also brought along Ophaniel and Remiel, but Lucifer was not sure why. His two sisters rarely spoke to him, even when he was still accepted by the family. Thankfully, his friends seemed to be defending him, but he was uncomfortable with his humans getting so close to such a dangerous group of people. They were very different than the bigots and criminals the LAPD dealt with on a daily basis.

"Samael." Michael stretched out his hand as if in greeting. "I see you've come to join us."

"I didn't come here for you. Let's not get a big head now, shall we?" The Devil sneered back at the other angel.

Raphael spoke up next. "We realized that we might not be getting the point across to you. You must return to Hell, and you must fix the damage you have done to yourself."

"No."

Ophaniel turned her head sharply, her long dark hair swaying behind her. "Remiel and I came to teach you how to be a woman again." She smiled, but it was clearly fake.

"No."

"Come on." She rolled her eyes. "We can start to fix everything that has happened to your body, sister. There is no reason for you to appear that tall. And what happened to everything that made you female? Don't tell me you manufactured your own genitalia!" Ophaniel went green in the face at the very thought.

"That is none of your business!" Dan yelled out all of the sudden. It shouldn't matter to them what was down their brother's pants.

Smirking, Lucifer rolled up his left sleeve. He had chosen to take a skin graft from that arm as he didn't use it as much as his right. "If this is what you are speaking of, sister, then yes, I did."

Gabriel pushes forward in the group of angels. "Why do you need so much attention? Everything would be fine in this family if you didn't feel the need to bring everyone down for your own selfish reasons!"

Ella had fire in her eyes. "He didn't do it for selfish reasons! Why would anyone out their body through so much surgery if they didn't think it would actually help them?"

"Attention." Gabriel repeated. "Listen closer next time, mortal."

"He got surgery because there was something wrong with him. A doctor wouldn't prescribe someone insulin if they didn't need it, so they wouldn't prescribe Lucifer testosterone unless he truly needed it." The forensic scientist snapped, her jaws clacking together hard at the end.

"You mortals these days have been manipulated by the Devil and his demons. There hadn't been a single transgender before Samael, and now, they seem to be everywhere." Remiel snarled. "She has manipulated them into thinking that the impossible could occur. Our Father does not make mistakes."

Lucifer paused for a moment. "Perhaps there are a lot more people identifying as a different gender nowadays out in the open, but that is likely because it was unsafe for them to do so before."

"And all of those poor individuals who realize that trans isn't real and have to try to fix the damage the caused?"

"Some people do unfortunately have to detransition, but that does not mean that every trans person is delusional. Figuring oneself out is a rocky road for many of us." He responded concisely. "It would be even harder if you prevented them from being themselves."

Michael let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Our Father created us all, and he did not create transgender along with us. You persuaded people into spreading your rhetoric, and now, all of humankind is confused."

"Bummer." The Devil laughed a bit to himself.

"Are you here for any other reason than to harass my partner?" Chloe and the other humans had had enough.

"This is not harassment. It is enlightenment."

Dan placed a strong hand on one of their shoulders. "It is inappropriate for the precinct, that is what it is. We already told you that this is a safe spaces. If you do not stop making this a hostile work environment, we will have to do something about you."

"And you won't like it at all." Ella tacked on.

The angels didn't appear to be phased by any of their threats. In fact, Remiel and Ophaniel burst out into laughter.

"See you soon, Sammy." Remiel waved her hand as they left, this time using the door rather than vanishing into thin air. "I can't wait to have my sister back."

"I am not a sister. I am a brother still."

"Whatever you say. Don't worry; we'll fix whatever has infected your mind. You'll be a healthy woman again soon."

And if that didn't trigger his dysphoria, he wasn't sure what else would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> I've actually tried cutting my chest off before....not recommended! Please seek help if you are having negative thoughts!
> 
>  
> 
> Autocheck sucks, but I think I got all the errors!


End file.
